What is WRONG with people?

Carter and I are both kind of ticked off about something right now: People who say they don't have enough money to take their pet to the vet. And not for a million dollar operation, but for a simple visit because the animal is sick. They say they love the pet and apparently have the money to feed it. Assuming then that the person isn't actually destitute and homeless, they DO have the money. They just don't WANT to spend it on the pet. Granted, it's never fun to spend money on things like car repairs, doctors, fixing the toilet... but they have to be done. How can somebody say they love their pet and at the same time allow it to suffer needlessly?

Bottom line, when you own a pet, you should be prepared for all the expenses involved. This means yearly exams and shots (especially if it's an outdoor pet), along with the occasional vet trip for illness or injury. And if you ask us, you should be willing to cough up a decent amount of dough for an operation. And putting them to sleep because they are sick (not terminally) is horrible. And selfish. It's like people think pets are just disposable.

If you don't think you can handle the expense of a pet, DON'T GET ONE. Bottom line. Or get goldfish. They die naturally on a regular basis. Or just read a freakin' book.

Rant over. Let's eat!

PAR-TY!

My mom went on a long vacation - without me! She said I'd be happier here, and I guess I trust her, but I miss her! My grandma is feeding and blogging for me, but it's just not the same.

Mom went to Los Angeles. What's in Los Angeles except movie stars, palm trees, ocean and cool places to hang out? And, she says, business. She even took my human brother with her. I even miss him, even though he likes to throw me on the bed and tackle me and kiss my face way too hard.

But the good thing is that I get to party! I know cats aren't supposed to drink, but then why did they make little tiny bottles? I'll get back to you...

Cats Don't Cry (RIP Baxter)

Cats don’t cry, and maybe that’s a blessing. Cats’ moms cry, and maybe we cry for both of us.

Today one of Carter’s friends, Baxter, lost his battle with cancer. Now, this will make Carter and I both sound like freakish losers to some (ask us if we care), but we never met Baxter. He was one of Carter’s online friends from MySpace. Today, as a tribute, Baxter’s friends are putting up a tribute picture of him in place of their main profile picture.

The point of this post is that we were both touched by the outpouring of sympathy and support for Baxter’s family from his virtual MySpace family. To see so many profile photos with the tribute up, and to visit Baxter’s page to see all the messages of condolence was heartwarming. Nothing can make Baxter’s passing easier for his family, but this new wifi online world we live in makes it possible to become a part of a huge, virtual world that sometimes seems strange, freakish, scary, whatever, but at times like this it’s also comforting. Baxter’s family may be feeling sad, but they can hardly feel alone.

MySpace (and any other online community) is a lot of things to a lot of people. Some good and some bad. But right now, for a bunch of cat lovers, it’s both a place of comfort and sadness. It’s bringing people together who wouldn’t otherwise know each other to form a support group that wouldn’t have existed otherwise. I cry for Baxter’s family’s loss, but I am also touched by the love shown by virtual strangers in an attempt to comfort others. And those are good tears. From Carter and his mom, rest in peace Baxter…

Carter Is Still Holding Forth

Carter is still a bit frustrated by his inability to post more frequently. However, his mom’s computer is broken and won’t be fixed for a while because there are too many other things to do (for his mom, not for him of course).

Fortunately there are other computers in the house. There’s his human brother’s computer, but getting access to it is impossible. You can’t drag a teenager away from such very important tasks as instant messaging friends and hanging out on MySpace.

Then there’s the laptop. He likes that the best because it allows him to sit in his favorite spot while watching (or dictating to) his mom work. It’s also closer to the kitchen.

Problem with the laptop is that his mom is doesn’t like to do a lot of writing on it, preferring a standard keyboard. Then she insists on doing work on it. Carter thinks his blog should be a priority, but what can he do?

But hopefully the main desktop will be up and running again soon. Meanwhile Carter is keeping a list of what he feels he should share with you. And eating.

Holiday Safety for Pets

Carter knows that the holidays are fun for humans but they can sometimes cause trouble for pets. So here are a few things to watch out for:

Christmas Trees
Playing with a Christmas tree is loads of fun for pets. Even one as lazy as Carter can appreciate a good tree and might make the effort to tackle it. But ornaments, especially tinsel, is harmful if swallowed. Loose needles can also be ingested and cause a pet to choke or become sick. Even the tree’s water might contain chemicals or bacteria and should be hidden away under a tree skirt.

Plants
Poinsettia, holly and mistletoe are all poisonous.

Chocolate
Carter doesn’t like chocolate, he’s happy to say, but he has to keep an eye out for his housemate Maggie the dog, because chocolate is poisonous to most animals. In fact, a single box of chocolate candy can kill an average dog. If your pet should happen to get into some chocolate, call your vet. He or she can determine if immediate care is necessary.

Electrical Cords
Pets love to chew. Carter is no exception, although he’s not really into electrical cords. However, many animals are, especially dogs and puppies. Chewing cords can cause electrocution. So keep cords up high or hide them under furniture. Unplug electric decorations when you aren’t home.

Wrapping
Obviously wrapping wasn’t meant to be eaten, but your pets don’t know that. Most pets are quite happy to eat anything, not that Carter knows anything about that. Of particular concern are ribbons, string and yarn. These are tempting to play with but pose serious choking hazards.

Bones
Now Carter doesn’t do the bone thing, unless it’s in a tuna. But he wants to remind people not to give your pet real bones. Dogs can chew through them, causing small, splintered pieces to lodge in their throat or intestines.

Liquor
Some people think it might be funny to see their pets get drunk (along with dressing them in Santa suits and sticking bows on their heads), but it doesn’t take long for an animal to go from tipsy to alcohol toxicity. Carter doesn’t drink liquor himself (nasty!) but he wants to make sure that people don’t get their pets sick or drink too much themselves this season.

So there you go, Carter’s advice for safe holidays with your pets. Oh, and don’t worry about that whole diet thing – they don’t count until sometime next year.

To Be Fixed or Not to Be Fixed

Carter was asked about his stance on this subject recently. His response? Of course you should spay or neuter your pet! Hello?

Okay, sure, as a male cat he no longer has his, er, package. But you know what? Carter wants to make the point that he doesn’t need it and doesn’t miss it. Besides, his sex drive went away with his equipment. Cats’ sex drive is there as an instinct, not an emotion. Don’t think of your cat as a human in this respect. You are not emasculating your cat. You are not depriving him of children he has always dreamed of and a chance to marry that perfect female. Carter doesn’t even remember what it was like to have the boys down there. It’s no big deal.

And if you don’t spay a female, well, you’ll have all kinds of issues. Carter is no expert here since his female cat friends are spayed. However, he has known a few intact cats as well. Intact females have menstrual cycles. “nuff said right there. Also, if you have any intact males in the neighborhood, they will know when your female is in heat and hang around outside wailing for them. They are not as nice to listen to as a human male suitor serenading his love. It’s just annoying, especially for other cats. And finally, are you prepared to have a pregnant cat? You should be, because if your intact cat goes outside, she’ll get pregnant faster than Angelina Jolie can adopt foreign kids. Carter finds this kind of random sex distasteful personally, but it’s just the way cats (and dogs) are.

So save yourself a lot of headaches (and some for your cat), and get them fixed. They won’t like the trip to the vet, but if you do it young enough, Carter is sure they will be like him and not even remember the event.

And, BTW, Carter still considers himself quite a man. He looks like a man, acts like a man, eats like a man, and can tear around the house just as good as any cat with his original equipment. Maybe better…

Stupid Internet

Carter is not happy because the Internet has been down. This not only keeps him from being able to post, but it also makes his mom stomp around the house cursing the cable company. The cable man is supposed to come to the house on Friday (which is upsetting enough, having a stranger with the wrong smells walking all over the place. If only more things could be fixed on the outside of the house). So his mom is good enough to post this from work, which is incredibly busy right now. Carter isn’t sure why human work is more important than posting a cat’s blog, but he begrudgingly accepts it. So he’ll be back as soon as the stupid internet is back.

Love Hurts

As Carter has probably mentioned, he likes to be around his human family. Mostly me, but if I’m not around he’s near my son. And when I come home after work, he’s at the door waiting for me and mewing. Kind of like dog behavior, but don’t tell him that.

As you might imagine, he tends to get underfoot a lot. This usually happens when he knows it’s not only meal time but he hasn’t had any attention in a while. So when I get up in the morning and when I come home after work, Carter is often a tangle weaving through my feet as I walk. I always tell him it’s not a good idea, but he doesn’t care. And it’s usually he who gets hurt. He can give you plenty of examples of how his paw has been carelessly stepped on or he’s been kicked in the side. And it certainly isn’t his fault, it’s me not watching out.

Yesterday that all changed. He was at the door when I got in as usual. I had my purse in one hand and a package that had been delivered in the other. As I walked to the family room and was just about to descend the two stairs that lead into it, Carter got so under foot he tripped me up. Since I was about to descend the stairs, he caused me not only to just stumble, but I was airborne, falling to the wood floor at the foot of the stairs. My arms were full and couldn’t break my fall, plus I put my foot out to try and stay standing. But somehow I ended up in a clump on the floor, sprawled out and in serious pain. My knees hit the hard floor and my right foot felt as if I had broken every toe.

Carter stood in the kitchen looking at me, wondering what I was doing fooling around on the floor when he needed to be fed. After pulling myself together and fed him and went on about life. But my foot continued to hurt and swell. By bedtime I felt as if every bone had been crushed. I was up most of the night since the smallest move caused me sharp, intense pain. This despite having put ice on my foot and taken ibuprofen.

So the first order of the day when I got up was a trip to the walk-in clinic (which I am loathe to do). By then my toes were swollen and one of them was so purple it looked almost black. After some X-rays I was told I had a break on my big toe. I would have to wear a special shoe until I saw an orthopedic doctor to make sure that was all I needed. And then there were the crutches (I’m always wondering which hurts more, walking on the injured body part or the effects of the crutches).

Of course I don’t blame Carter, and he feels terrible about it. But what I dread is showing up in public and at work on crutches and sporting a special shoe. People will ask what happened and I have to say I tripped over the cat and fell down stairs. You can’t get more lame than that. I thought about saying it happened while I was defending a bus of school children against attack by a group of deadly ninjas. But I won’t. I will say, simply, “ask Carter.”

Carter vs. Nostradamus

After watching a program about Nostradamus and the accuracy of his predictions, Carter found that quite silly. He thinks humans give themselves too much credit. Not that animals are perfect either, but they don’t have the ability to use the media to express themselves (unless you are a blogging cat, of course).

In any case, he would like to note that animals do, in fact, often have senses that are better or completely lacking in humans. Such as a dog’s ability to smell and a bat’s ability to see in the dark. He says animals can also feel fluctuations in the Earth’s magnetic field (which, by the way, he says accounts for a lot of silly things humans believe, but that’s a different subject). Animals are also more sensitive to sonic and physical vibrations. An elephant can literally hear through its feet. And look at the communication of whales and dolphins.

So if humans want predictions, they should look to the animals. Take the Sri Lanka Tsunami. While humans were videotaping a deadly wave overtaking them, most of the animals had already taken to higher ground, having felt the impending danger. So if you are looking for predictions or behavior that appears almost paranormal, you should consider looking to animals, not very old men from ancient times.

What’s almost as bad, he insists, is people in the present time, which he is much more concerned about, who make predictions. If humans could do this, why couldn’t we prevent things like terrorist attacks and warn of natural disasters? It’s all rubbish. People either predict things that are quite obvious or take credit for things that have already happened.

Well, if people can make predictions with their limited senses, he thinks animals should be able to as well, given their heightened senses. Thus, here are Carter’s predictions for the remainder of the year: there will be unrest in the Middle East, there will be an increase in storm activity in the Atlantic and Gulf of Mexico, there will be seismic events along the San Andreas Fault, President Bush will say something he feels is quite profound yet ultimately it makes absolutely no sense, and finally, that there will be food in his bowl, even if he has to check on it several hundred times a day before it shows up. And with that thought, he will close this entry, as it is time to check on said bowl.

Criss and Hammie Angel Rock!

Carter has been a Criss Angel fan for a while. Granted, he is easily fooled by humans (and pretty much anything else) on a regular basis. Like, where did that bug go that went under the couch? He can’t comprehend it went out the other side and got out of Dodge. However, he finds Criss interesting possibly because of his energetic on-screen personality. Cats like such things.

Most importantly, Criss likes cats. He even uses his cats in tricks, which Carter is particularly impressed with because cats will not fake stuff. They have limits to what they will do, and putting up with silly human tricks is one of those areas that tests their limits. Why do you think magicians use rabbits so much? Because rabbits go with the flow more. And Carter knows this from his discussions with housemate Black Jack the bunny. Jack would have no problem doing a magic trick, but he is way more laid back than Carter. Jack is cool hanging out in a box, Carter is not.

So, when Criss’ cat Hammie is used for tricks, Carter is quite convinced he is not just going along with it to please Criss. You can tell, too, that he is rather annoyed at, for example, being levitated. And you know he’s pissed when he gets put in a box. But Hammie is obviously loyal to his owner and puts up with his crazy human interest in magic (illusions, Carter points out, all illusions. Cats know this but can’t tell you how).
So, Carter just wanted to say a shout out to Criss and Hammie. These guys rock. And most importantly, neither Carter nor his skeptical human family can figure out a thing Criss does. Even considering the possibility of covert hypnotism. So props to Criss and Hammie, and Carter just wants to know when the Ham’ster will have his own show (or at least merchandise).

Oh, and if you want to see Criss in action, he's in "Mindfreak" on A&E Wednesday nights.

RIP Steve Irwin

Well, not to be too much of a downer, but Carter, along with his animal and human family are mourning the loss of TV host and naturalist Steve Irwin. Carter grew up watching this crazy man (his on screen energy was enough to keep even lazy cats interested), and his human family have been fans (and members of the Australian Zoo) long before Irwin became a household name. Something about his energy and enthusiasm towards conservation and his love of all animals instantly endeared him to us all. Over a decade now we’ve watching his zoo, and his family, grow. Our hearts go out to Terri, their family, and everyone from the zoo and Discovery who have helped bring him into our lives. And even though he is gone now, he has inspired a new generation of kids and adults alike to love and respect animals, and that’s a legacy he can be very proud of.

RIP Piper and Petey

Carter doesn’t have much to say today. He’s feeling a little sad. He lost another of his cat buddies the other day. Piper died of old age in her sleep at the age of about 16. Not long ago another bud of the same age, Petey, had to be put to sleep after becoming seriously ill. Carter is only three, so this is the first loss he has experienced. But he has been assured that they lived long and spoiled lives and it was their time to go (to be quite honest, they both looked as if they had been dead a while anyway). So he’d like to say a final goodbye to his two friends and hopes they are now living a happy new existence up there in the big cat condo in the sky…

Do Cats Feel Love?

Carter knows that some people don’t like cats because they feel they are solitary and aloof and won’t be as loving as a dog. Behaviorists also debate on whether or not cats show genuine affection or love. As usual, Carter thinks humans are spending too much time debating the heck out of an obvious subject.

Yes, cats are capable of feeling and showing true affection. Duh. Of course, like people, some are more affectionate than others. But you can’t generalize to the whole species. This annoys the heck out of Carter. All this generalization.

Some animal behaviorists attribute such behavior as licking, rubbing and following to territory marking, recognition and waiting to be fed. For example, when a cat rubs the side of his face on his owner, this could be said to be either scent marking or encouragement to their human to get that cat food out of the cabinet and in the bowl. And some of this is true. Cats have glands on the sides of their faces which they use to mark people, and Carter of all cats will attest to exhibiting extreme “feed me” behavior. But he also does this when there is no possibility of food. He also “kisses,” by bumping his nose on various parts of his human family’s bodies. This is not smelling, is a form of affection and connection. He also licks like crazy. He does not need to identify his humans by licking. He can smell them and recognize their voices, particularly when they talk to him specifically by using his name or talking in tones they use only with him. Plus, for some reason known only to Carter, he really likes to lick things.

People do like to anthropomorphize their pet’s behavior because the want to believe the cat is doing a specific affectionate activity. Sometimes they are and sometimes they aren’t. Sometimes it’s about love, sometimes it’s about food. But the bottom line is that cats do love and do show affection. They may not need a pack like dogs do, but it’s nice to have.

Cat Psychology

(Just a warning, this is kind of long. Carter just ate and is always very ready to share his thoughts after he is full. And he likes to take full advantage of those few minutes when he actually isn't thinking about eating).

Carter was just watching Animal Planet because he was curious about what this “dog whisperer” guy was all about. For the most part he was impressed, because the dog guy understands that changing a pet’s behavior begins with the owner changing theirs. People have no idea the influence they have on their animals. Carter thinks this influence is more pronounced in dogs because they are pack animals and their human parents are part of the pack. Cats are a bit different, but there are still many things people should know about dealing with their cats. Where, he wonders, is the “cat whisperer?” So he thinks that perhaps through some of his insights on this blog, he might help cat parents understand their cats a little better.

Ironically, cat psychology is very similar to human psychology, at least as far as Carter can see. After all, cats are higher-level thinkers, he wants me to remind people. He tends to sound a bit full of himself, as many cats do. But he has a point, so I will let him hold forth. In order to understand human minds, researchers have often looked to animals. The first example most people think of is probably Pavlov’s dogs (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, Carter and I both say shame on you – go look it up). Carter would like to mention that a guy named Edward Thorndike was on the scene before Pavlov and he used cats in his experiments. While ol’ Thorndike might have been a bit of a jerk for putting cats in boxes, at least he understood the value of their intelligence. But Carter digresses. The point is, that a group of guys like Thorndike and Pavlov and Skinner were on to something. They were looking at what motivated humans and paving the way for advancements in training animals to be film stars at the same time. They showed us that animals like cats and dogs can learn and how they think. Carter believes this is important for humans to understand. No, not so they can train their cats to do stupid tricks to make a few bucks from some TV show (unless you are truly going to get them into big-time films, that’s a different story), but so you can simply understand what motivates them and why they do some of the things they do.

Without going into a college course in operant conditioning (Carter gets paid big bucks for that), he would like to point out that animals do two things: one, associate one thing with another and two, change behavior based upon reinforcement (or lack of it). For example of association, Carter’s human grandmother used to get extremely agitated with her cats for using the Sunday paper as a litter box. The cats, likewise, were extremely agitated that they got in trouble for trying to do their business on the newspaper. So they tried doing their business in other places and things got even worse. Fortunately, Carter’s human mom came to the rescue. She noticed her mother put newspaper in the litter box. Simple. The cats associated the newspaper with doing their business. Once human gram kept the newspaper off the floor, the cats didn’t pee on it. Fortunately, this was a simple solution. If there was a reason to keep the newspaper on the floor, then the humans would have had to re-train the cats on how to associate it. Which brings us to the learning part.

Animals (including the human type) tend to do what gets them results and not do what doesn’t. They also seek reward and avoid punishment. Thorndike put hungry cats in a puzzle box, requiring them to figure out that if they pushed a lever, a door would open and let them at their food. Carter can understand why these cats would be very motivated to learn. And they did. They tried meowing and scratching, but that didn’t work. Pushing the lever did. So after a while, the hungry cat, once placed in the silly box, would just push the lever and get his darned food while ol’Thorndike went off to draw graphs about it. In this example, the cats both learned and were rewarded. People do the same thing. We try to do what gets us results without also getting punishment. “Yeah, I know this,” you, as a human, might say. But let’s revisit grandma. Grandma would get mad at her cats for jumping up on the kitchen counter. However, when it was pointed out to her that she would often give the cats treats if they jumped up while she was cooking, she realized that she had taught them that they not only could jump on the counter, but they might also get a reward. Sure, sometimes she yelled at them, but she rewarded them with treats enough times to reinforce the behavior. How is the cat supposed to understand when it’s okay to do something at one time and not another? Like human laws, rules need to be consistent. Otherwise they won’t or can’t be followed. What if sometimes when you got caught for speeding, the cop gave you money instead of a ticket?

So, if your cat is doing something that makes you mad, instead of just swatting him with a newspaper, stop and think about it. Could they have learned this behavior somehow because you unknowingly reinforced it? Or do they make an association that causes their action (puking causes you to yell and run at them, so they try and hide away when they feel sick, not because they are trying to piss you off, but because they think puking causes humans to exhibit this frightening behavior)?

Some animals will never learn, it’s true, just the way some people never will. Thus our prisons will always be full, and there will always be roadkill. But you can teach old dogs new tricks. You can even understand why your cat pees on your left shoe. If you care enough about them, there are ways to understand and even change their behavior (or yours, as the case may require). Remember, your cat doesn’t want to get in trouble any more than you want a speeding ticket. So put down the rolled up newspaper and watch some Animal Planet. Oh, and keep reading Carter’s blog or he’ll pee on both your shoes. (Just kidding…)

The Afterlife, Spirits, Cats and Digital Cameras

The other day Carter was obsessed with something in the corner of the bedroom by the ceiling. At first I thought it must be a bug, but he gets very interested in that particular spot quite a bit and I can't see anything there, not even a cobweb. So I wondered what was up. According to him, it’s a spirit. So Carter thought he might enlighten us on such experiences.

Carter doesn’t ponder life after death and the existence of spirits. He does know, however, that humans are fascinated by it. He thinks this stems from a fear of the unknown. Cats, on the other hand, don’t have a fear of the unknown since it is, after all, unknown, so what’s there to be afraid of? Cats are instead afraid of what’s going on here and now (which might be an unknown person in the house, but at least that’s something physical. It’s a person the cat doesn’t know and therefore a clear and present possible danger). The unknown, however, is just something to be contemplated but not worried over. After all, what is more pressing, wondering what happens when you die, which could be decades away, or whether there will be good food in your bowl that night?

As for spirits, cats (and dogs, but he can’t speak for anything beyond those species), can sense them. Because cats don’t have a fear of “ghosts” and whatnot, they are not afraid of spirits. Carter says they are similar to bugs, a curiosity. Spirits, unlike bugs, usually stay where cats can’t bat at them. But they attract an animal’s attention the way a sudden shiny object on TV might, or a bit of light scattered across the wall from the window. They can be threatening, and dogs tend to be more affected by this due to their need to protect their pack, but mostly they are simply a part of life like bugs, dust balls, and unexpected odors. Thus, if one believes in spirits, which Carter does, then he guesses that he believes in an afterlife, for both people and animals.

Carter doesn’t know why most humans can’t see spirits; he simply chalks it up to another obvious difference between people and animals. However, the fact that digital cameras seem to be able to capture spirit energy is good and of greater importance to Carter than spirits. Why? Because humans will now have something to chase around with a camera other than their pets. Again, he says, you gotta live in the now.

Vote for ME!

Carter isn't a big fan of those "American Idol" type shows, however, he is quite pleased with himself and enjoys attention and compliments. So he is now up on the Cat Fancy Community site, Catchannel.com (there's a link on the main page). You can vote on the cutest cat. And, if you enjoy such things, check out some really cute kitties. So if you have time when you're hanging around surfing the web, which he knows we do, he'd greatly appreciate it if you'd vote for him. Go to Catchannel.com, then community, then gallery, or follow the link below. Carter thanks you in advance. And if you are ever on "American Idol," he'll vote for you in return.
http://www.catchannel.com/cat/community/gallery/default.aspx

Bad Weekend

Carter was not happy this weekend. Friday night started out pretty good. He found that instead of his normal sized dinner portion, he was given an extraordinary amount of food. "Heaping" is the best word he can come up with. Part of him wondered if this was too good to be true and was perhaps a mistake on the part of his family. He thought they might realize it and he better save some because they wouldn't give him his next meal. On the other paw, if he ate it all, and his family was unaware of the amount they had given him, they would simply put more in at his next meal. Had he stumbled on the motherload or was something else going on? He did what he normally did and let his stomach decide. This resulted in his eating most of the huge bowl in one evening.

Almost two full days passed and he not only didn't get any more food, but his family had gone on vacation to the beach. He realized he should have rationed the food better, but worse, he was not happy about his family taking off without him. Not that he wanted to go with them, as that would have involved a nasty ride in the car and possible contact with water. The obvious answer was that his family should not have gone in the first place. He accepted the idea of humans having jobs in order to buy cat food, but the vacation situation was beyond him. He was left with a bloated stomach from binge eating followed by boredom. He cut down on the boredom with a few lengthy naps and had a go at the rabbit's new bag of timothy hay (it had the attracting power of cat nip but was basically nasty to eat once you got at it). And then he just waited, and waited.

Eventually the food bowl was completely empty and the water almost gone, which he thought might signal the family's imminent return. And he was right. When he heard the car drive up his annoyance was quickly abated. After all, new food was only minutes away, and if he acted out or shunned his family to spite them, he'd miss out on some good cuddles and scratching which he sorely missed. Sure enough, he was fed right away and enjoyed an evening of lounging on the arm of the couch watching "Dirty Jobs" and getting constant attention. So he decided to forgive and forget.

Why Cat's Don't Like Baths

Carter is an obsessive groomer, and proud of it. With that in mind, he’d like to get something straight about why cats don’t like baths: cats don’t need baths. Only under extreme circumstances, like being rescued from a mudslide, would a cat need a bath. Then there medically necessary baths and show cats, but they are a whole different story. Anyway, the average house cat, particularly an indoor cat, has no need for a bath for Chrissakes! He wonders, what do you think we are doing when we lick ourselves? It’s dogs that need baths. Not cats. Domestic cats don’t like water because there is nothing in their genetic makeup to predispose them to it. There is no need for them to come into regular contact with it. Sure, the odd cat here and there enjoys a swim or at least a bat at a running faucet, but trying to cover a cat in water is just mean. In his opinion. Nothing good will come of it (like making him feel better after a visit to the vet). You are wasting their time and yours and they will generally let you know. To some it’s even an insult. Bathing cats. He really just doesn’t get it.

Cat Puke

His previous post brought to mind a sore subject in a lot of cat households: puking. Carter knows that his human family isn’t really happy when he throws up. And they like it best if he does so in the bathroom or kitchen. He thinks it might be best if he threw up in his litter box, since humans throw up in their toilets, but he can’t bring himself to do this, since there is usually something else in there. Putting your face in a used litter box isn't the first choice of most anyone who is feeling the urge to purge. So in general, he will throw up where ever he feels sick. Some humans get really upset because their cat pukes on something like the newspaper, or runs under the bed and pukes. But think about it, they go for the paper because they might associate it with waste, especially if it’s used in their litter box. And if they start hacking and retching, and you respond by screaming and running at them, they will probably run and hide. It’s bad enough to feel sick and puke; you really don’t need somebody screaming and running and throwing stuff under you. You’d rather be left to yourself to do the unsavory business, so you hide. Carter, however, is lucky, because his human family generally lets him puke in peace. This is smart on their part, since they will have to clean it up anyway, better not to chase him into the back of the closet first. And it’s good for Carter because he doesn’t have the stress of worrying about human reaction on top of being sick in the first place. Since he does not associate puking with frightening and odd human behavior, he does it without the mess the human behavior can cause (such as puking all over the house on the way to hiding under the bed). You know the expression “let a sleeping dog lie?” Well, let a puking cat puke. Not that he pukes a lot, mind you. Hardly ever, really, just to let you know.

Cat Toys

Carter has noticed that some cat owners are frustrated because they can’t get their cats to play with toys they buy. Dog owners are particularly confused by this, since most dogs love toys. There are two problems with cat toys: first, the owner’s definition of a toy might not be the cat’s. Take fluffy mice. Humans are always buying toys for cats that are in some form of a mouse. Not that this is necessarily the humans’ fault, but instead that of the cat toy manufacturers and cartoonists. In any case, mice are not considered “toys” by cats. A domestic cat’s instinct is to kill mice because they are unhealthy. Cats are still kept for this purpose today (one of the few “working” capacities of domestic cats). However, since actual ratters are few and far between, the instinct to kill rodents is dwindling from the cat’s instinctive repertoire. Also, many humans keep rodents as pets, and cats have learned they are not only off limits to chase, but might actually make decent companions if given the chance. Thus, when confronted with a real mouse, a cat might chase it for fun, like a bug, until it runs under the fridge and hides, at which point the cat will lose interest (which leads to reason number two, which we’ll get to in a minute). Or the cat might run away or to his or her owner, fearing the invading rodent is something best dealt with by a human. And the occasional outdoor cat might feel the instinct kick in and kill the mouse, perhaps even as a prize to show the human (they do this on occasion to remind humans that cats can do the same stuff as dogs, they just don’t usually feel like it, particularly if it smacks of brown nosing). But back to the point, a mouse isn’t a toy. A toy is a balled up piece of brown paper or anything on the end of a string. A mouse is a rodent. And even if cats were attracted by toys that looked like mice, most toys don’t look at all like mice. And most importantly, they do not taste or smell like mice. Mice do not come in colors like blue and green, aren’t made of fleece, nor do they have anything fun inside them like bells, rattles or drugs.

Reason two is that cats need lots of stimulation to play and remain playing. Toys get boring for them quickly. Humans tend to think if you throw out a green, fuzzy toy mouse with a bell in it, the cat will play with it for hours. Some will (although Carter thinks they are probably the dimmer bulbs with less to contemplate), but most will lose interest in it once it stops moving (making the real mouse actually look more fun, except for its ability to hide under the fridge). Cats like constant motion and variety. It takes some effort on the part of the owner to play with the cat. Or, invent a perpetual motion, shape changing cat toy. Meanwhile, cats tend to find their own ways to amuse themselves. It might be a box, shopping bag, or discarded toilet tube. The smart owner will notice what their cat amuses himself with and try to recreate it. If the owner is too lazy to take but a minimal effort in kitty’s playtime, get a simple laser pointer and have the cat (or dog, since they like them too) chase it. A red dot is not part of an animal’s instinctual encyclopedia, and since it doesn’t have a scent or smell, it is an enigma. At least that’s what Carter thinks is so attractive about laser pointers. Finding one in the shape of a mouse will not enhance its enjoyment factor.

Carter would like to add a pawnote here regarding catnip. Catnip is often considered a cat toy. Catnip is a drug (an herb of the mint family which, BTW, not all cats respond to). Just the way college co-eds might think it’s funny to get a friend drunk and watch them act silly, so too do humans enjoy getting a cat high. Cats can act silly when they are on the ‘nip, plus they suddenly find those stupid mouse-shaped toys fun. All this pleases humans more than it does the cat. Carter thinks that, bottom line, slipping your cat a Mickey for your own enjoyment is sort of sneaky, but then the cat probably isn’t going to mind, or remember. So if you need to get your kicks by getting your cat high, have your jollies. Oh, and if your cat pukes all over your new rug after a bit of catnip-induced frolicking, whose fault is that, he asks, hmm?

Curiosity Killed the Cat - NOT

This expression annoys the hell out of Carter. Curiosity is very much a part of a cat, certainly, but this expression implies a cat is so curious it will pursue its object of interest to the death. Cats are usually too busy thinking about things which they are truly curious about (again, mistaken for laziness). The cat that goes after something he’s curious about which ends in his own demise is simply stupid. So technically, stupidity killed the cat. It kills dogs more often, he thinks. Not that dogs are stupid, but they are more likely to act on their curiosity (and they will eat anything). But really, stupidity kills everything, especially humans, he notes. When Carter’s human family is not watching the Discovery Channel, they are usually watching programs in which both animals and people do stupid things. Smart humans think the stupid humans are funny. And they are, as long as their stupidity doesn’t really get them killed. But sadly, there are many animals and humans that just don’t think before they act. And random, unthought-through actions might lead to danger, for any species. Curiosity is wondering if you can climb Mt. Everest. Stupidity is trying it in a bathing suit. Curiosity is following a lizard through the front yard. Stupidity is following it across the Interstate. If you really want to find out about something, you probably can, as long as you go about it in the correct manner.

Welcome

This is Carter. He is only three, but he's an old soul and wise beyond his years. We spend a lot of time together and constantly learn from each other. We also like to watch cable channels together, along with occasional movie. A lot of people think he spends most of his time watching Animal Planet, but this is not the case. As he explains it, he is an animal, and as thus is not as interested in watching programs about animals as people are. He prefers Discovery, National Geographic, and The Colbert Report.

As intelligent and insightful Carter might be, he is unable to type. Voice recognition software is useless as none exists to translate Cat. He could always use a stylus or some other interface device in his mouth, but to be honest, he'd really spend the time napping and contemplating the world. Logically, he feels that a human who can type upwards of a hundred words pedr minute should type his blog for him. And because he's so darned cute, I will oblige. I'm Carter's human mom, Kat.